Some thoughts and prayers, please, for the Facebook moms who post crockpot recipes with 14-paragraph life stories attached. Tough day for them… Zuck just announced he’s slicing Meta’s budget by 30%, and somewhere the algorithm let out a soft, panicked wheeze. And naturally, he paired that announcement with his favorite side quest: mortgaging everything that isn’t bolted to the floor (the farm, the house, and rumor has it, his own mother) so he can shovel...
Lumine Group Inc. has entered into a definitive agreement to acquire Synchronoss Technologies, Inc. (Nasdaq: SNCR) in a transaction that will complete Synchronoss’ multi-year transformation and mark Lumine’s first takeover of a publicly traded company. Under the terms of the agreement, Lumine, a subsidiary of Constellation Software and a global “buy-and-hold-forever” acquirer of communications and media software businesses, will purchase Synchronoss for $9.00 per share...
Amazon’s long-running partnership with the U.S. Postal Service may be heading toward a major turning point. After months of negotiations over a new delivery agreement (and an unexpected change in how USPS wants to work with its biggest customers) Amazon is now weighing whether to take its entire package business in-house. The two sides have been working to renew their contract before it expires in October 2026, but according to reports, the talks haven’t gone anywhere. What really...
“I am never going to financially recover from this.” -Every bond trader after hearing Kevin Hassett’s a lock to be Jerome’s successor First, bond markets had to survive 2022… the year Liz Truss took the UK gilt market, shoved it in a blender, and hit “puree this sh*t.” And now? Now we’re staring down the barrel of a potential Kevin Hassett Fed chairmanship… which some traders are describing as “Powell, but if Powell woke up every m...
Congress absolutely LOVES a good distraction. And this week, they unveiled their latest magic trick: “What if, hear us out, instead of banning ourselves from insider trading… we just pre-announce the insider trading?” The official term they all came up with is called Pre-disclosure. The legislative equivalent of a bank robber yelling, “HEADS UP, I’M HITTING THE VAULT IN 30 MINUTES,” as if that somehow makes it ethical. During an 82-minute hearing (w...
Volkswagen be like “If Nike can do it with shoes, why not do it with cars? Lmao… Well, after decades of selling “German engineering”, VW basically walked out and said, “Everything we can do, China can do better… cheaper… and faster.” And that’s exactly what they’re going to do now. Translation: This didn’t age too well… (Source: X.com) In short, according to reports, the comp...
Starbucks will pay a total of $38.9 million to more than 15,000 New York City workers after city officials concluded the coffee chain violated the city’s Fair Workweek law by denying employees stable schedules and cutting hours without warning. The agreement, announced Monday by the NYC Department of Consumer and Worker Protection, includes $35.5 million in restitution to current and former hourly Starbucks workers and $3.4 million in civil penalties. The company also agreed to comply w...
You know that feeling in the school cafeteria when you’re laughing at someone else getting roasted… and then the guy doing the roasting suddenly swivels, points at you, and cooks you alive? Yeah. That’s Elon today… sitting at the lunch table, mid-chuckle, when Michael Burry turns and says, “Alright buddy, your turn.” Burry has apparently taken a short break from calling Nvidia the next Enron to fire a fresh missile straight at Tesla. This all comes...
Right message, wrong messenger… Ladies and gentlemen, the man most memed on Twitter for wrecking more stock growth stories than Jerome Powell just showed everyone not only is he one of the worst stock predictors in history… he also lacks any self awareness whatsoever. Because Jim Cramer just blamed Michael Saylor and Microstrategy for the market crash that’s taking place over in Japan right now. Yes… Japan. And yes… Cramer. The same man who once told A...
Just weeks after Warner Bros. Discovery formally put itself up for sale, the bidding process has accelerated… and Netflix has now stepped in with a mostly cash offer that’s drawing significant attention across the media industry. According to reports… Netflix, along with Paramount Skydance and Comcast, submitted updated bids in a second round that wrapped over the long Thanksgiving weekend. The offers are described as binding, giving the Warner Bros. board the ability to a...
So you’re saying we’re in a bubble? The Bing of AI products (read: Microsoft) just got an expensive reminder that enthusiasm ≠ revenue. The short version: Microsoft’s AI sales targets quietly whiffed, The Information published the receipts, and traders went full-send into “Eat sh*t” mode as shares tanked nearly 3% yesterday. (Source: Giphy) However, the long version is even better… and way more predictable if you’ve bee...
“In a van down by the river” just got real AF… I’ll be blunt with this one: The November ADP print hit, and it wasn’t a “soft landing” number… it was a friggin’ “soft body hitting the pavement” number. Why? Because it appears that private-sector payrolls fell 32,000… the biggest drop since early 2023. But that’s not even the bad part. The bad part is that this wasn’t big tech trimming the fat or Fortu...
Zuck hasn’t pulled off a heist this clean since the Winklevoss twins trusted him with a handshake, you guys… Because in what can only be described as Silicon Valley’s version of Lebron leaving Cleveland for Miami, Meta just poached Alan freaking Dye (the man who has been designing Apple’s soul since 2015) and Cupertino is giving major “crying in the Whole Foods parking lot” energy right now. According to multiple reports, Dye is out. Gone. Teleporti...
You launched a prediction market… she launched a prediction market… all God’s children are launching prediction markets. At this point, if you told me your neighborhood HOA was launching a prediction market to bet on whose trash cans violate ordinance #7B, I’d believe you. We’re gone. Society has tipped. We’re in the upside-down (more on that in just a second). Robinhood’s got one. Kalshi’s got one. Polymarket is out here acting like Dr...
Fanatics is taking another big swing outside of its familiar sports-merchandising lane, rolling out a brand-new prediction market platform that lets users trade on everything from sports outcomes to economic data… and eventually, even pop culture moments. The company announced Wednesday that the platform, called Fanatics Markets, will go live across 24 states over the next few days. It’s another big move for Fanatics, which already touches nearly every corner of the fan...
I’m pretty sure the last time Sam Altman was freaking out this much, he was ironically losing his job to the very AI company he built… for about 36 hours… before Microsoft rolled in like the world’s nerdiest Navy SEAL team and reinstated him. But this time? Sammie boy isn’t waiting for a coup. He’s yanking the Homeland Security lever himself and taping a giant, fluorescent CODE RED label on ChatGPT’s forehead. According to an internal m...
First Larry Summers, now this? If Harvard thought being haunted by Larry Summers and his pedo side hustle was bad, they're currently finding out it’s nothing compared to being haunted with the cruel reality of “buying at the top”. How? Because Harvard, the seat of American intellectual elitism, the varsity jacket of generational privilege, just did the single funniest thing a $57B endowment could do: they bought half a billion dollars of Bitcoin at the top. Cryp...
If I had to guess… American Eagle’s top brass hopped on their earnings call, sighed dramatically, closed their binders, and declared, “Our corporate strategy from here on out? Sydney Freaking Sweeney.” And with shares launching 15% after hours, it’s obvious investors responded with a resounding, “Godspeed, kings.” In their defense, it’s clearly the right move. The retailer reported third-quarter numbers that blew away every single analyst t...
Streamline your investment strategy with our portfolio synchronization tools. Seamlessly manage and track your holdings across platforms for enhanced
Get Start
